Thoughts on Letting Go

"I continued to my walk and ended up by Porter College, at the meadow where I could see the ocean shining blue and streaked with orange.  I thought about the first time I had seen the ocean in Santa Monica.  I thought about my father holding my hand, about how afraid I had been that he would let go of me. 

I looked at the ocean, and I realized there was no need to be afraid.  I had gotten this far, despite everything.  Now, all I had to do was focus on why I was there- to make my dreams a reality.  I closed my eyes, and I saw myself at the water's edge, holding tightly to my fathers callused hand.

And I let it go. "  (Grande, 318).

This part in the novel, The Distance Between Us, by Reyna Grande caused me to gasp.  The reading caused me to think of things I have had to let go.  In life, I feel like it is one of the hardest challenges in a lot of situations, letting go.  Why?  Or at least, why are things that are bad for us hard to let go? Is it because we get so use to whatever it may be and we can not see it any other way? 
I understand why good things are hard to let go.  It is just hard!!

I have been blessed with beautiful parents.  I have a wonderful, loving mother, and two fathers.  My Papa who is my father, and my Dad who is my step, but I never like using that word with him.  I do remember visiting my papa on vacations because he moved to Arizona.
I really remember each good bye.  I never wanted to say bye, and I would be so dramatic about it each time.  I realize now it is okay to have felt that way.  He was my dad and I loved him.  It was just me and him when I would visit.  He would let me watch scary movies when my mom wouldn't.  We have a very different, and special relationship.  My mother sheltered me maybe too much; my papa would always be honest, and open with me, maybe too much, as well.
Either way, letting go of his hand was so painful; I remember it actually hurting my heart. 
Now that I am older, I am not so attached.  I could only imagine the goodbyes between Grandes mother, and the arrest of her father.
I could also only imagine the feeling of letting that all go, at the edge of the ocean, with the breeze, and sound of the waves crashing, throwing all the pain in the ocean and feeling lighter.
I could only imagine, but I can also remember and reflect within myself.  I can sympathize and emphasize.  Letting go is something I think we all have to deal with one time or another; or maybe even all through out life.  Letting go may be hard be we have to sometimes.

Ness
xo